Okay, I learned that five hours of painting, harvesting lots of garden produce and preparing for a hurricane was a bit too much yesterday. After a hearty breakfast of buckwheat blueberry banana pancakes and coffee I hobbled up to bed to read and promptly fell asleep. Of course waking up four times last night to listen for the storm didn't help. Once it had arrived by morning I slept much better. We only had a big wind and rain storm, no hurricane throwing stuff around. We were fortunate and only lost power for less than two hours.
I also felt fortunate in headstand today. What I learned there was that sometimes our long held feelings are difficult to let go. These particular feelings had to do with my musculature. We have a "fright" response hard-wired in us and when hurt, we instinctually protect ourselves. In my case, I dislocated my left shoulder at age 19. I'm still dealing with releasing the chronic tension in that left shoulder, because once I dislocated it I held it protectively and my nervous system then accepted that protective posture as the "new normal". In contrast I'm learning to re-tighten my over-stretched right shoulder. My arm drops out of its shoulder joint. So there in headstand I work on my shoulders. Left stretched out, right pulled in. I stop when my left forearm becomes a little numb in places. You can only do so much at one time. It's all about seeking balance. Not the balance upon my head, because I'm using the outer edge of the wall as a prop, so that I can focus on my inner balance.
One senior teacher I studied with said that Iyengar yoga is like water dripping on a stone; in this way you seek to find balance in your practice. You wouldn't think that a stone could be changed by dripping water. It can. Yes, it takes a while. Doesn't almost anything worth doing take a while?
For only a short while during my yoga practice today I thought about the art on my mantle in the living room. After my yoga I found just the right vase to put in between the set of framed tiles. The wooden carving of Gandhi is still there, and the set of tiny tiles with the aum sign decorations, and the goddess Shiva too. Balance. It is elusive at times, but worth the journey.
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