Day 98 November 10, 2010

Since my friend Denise talked about how she manages her breath during difficult yoga asanas recently in her blog, I thought I'd discuss the same topic today, but from another perspective. 

Just last night in class with David at Inner Sun Yoga Center in Wolfville, he mentioned the breath in relationship to the purpose of a yoga practice.  He said,  "the purpose of any yoga practice is to reach balance."  So to carry that to the breath, when you are in the midst of your asana practice you might find that you hold your breath or place your tongue against the roof of your mouth during difficult moments.  Both these things point out that there is strain in your practice.  This holding the breath or placing your tongue against the roof of your mouth is sometimes so subtle it is difficult to detect.  You really have to pay attention, be self aware, to sense it. 

There are other bigger signs of strain, the face is like a neon billboard for announcing strain.  Your forehead creases, your eyes bulge,  your mouth pinches, etc.  Guruji B.K.S. Iyengar mentions that the head and neck are to remain passive during yoga asana practice.  So forget all those facial signs of stress and strain.  And when you notice the more subtle tongue lifting or the holding or your breath, that is when you say to yourself, "Ah, I'm straining.  I need to back away."

earthenware tiles

You literally lesson the intensity of your approach to whichever asana you are doing.  You either back away, shorten your stance, come down from an inversion, raise your self up from the deepness of a foreword bend, or you can completely stop doing the asana.  I find it better to just back away from the intensity of your approach.  Then you can clearly see the difference between strain, and good effort without strain. 

"Effortless effort."  That is what Iyengar states as the approach to take towards your entire asana practice.  You try your best, but not to the point of strain.  You find the grace, the stillness of the moment within the pose.

Like in your life.  Find the grace amidst the hectic experience of being on this planet this very day.  On the subway, on the commute, in the kitchen, in the corridor, in the meeting, in the field, in the classroom, in the market, find that moment of being at peace.

Day 97 November 9, 2010

Perhaps you wonder how I manage to be such an eternal optimist?  I've seen another side of myself at other points in my life.  Throughout my twenties I was depressed off and on.  Even during some of my thirties.  Infrequently I could also go into a rage.  I was impatient.  Clueless too sometimes about what everything was all about.  Restless both physically and in other ways.

Seeing that other side of myself from today's perspective makes me realize that some of my problems were caused by a less than optimum diet, a less than optimum exercise regimen, a lack of sufficient self discipline, a lack of a truly balanced posture and a lack of a meaningful spiritual focus.  

Here is how I see the world now.  I see the positive.  I know the negative exists, but I choose to focus elsewhere.  It is a conscious choice.  Having experienced what I call a darker side of my life, I now choose what I call a brighter side.  Here is an example of my optimistic approach to life.  

Brunswick St. mural, Halifax, N.S.

In 2003 Hurricane Juan ripped the roof off of my husband David's yoga studio in Halifax.  Much of the artwork for my first solo art show was stored in his office awaiting the date to install it in an upcoming show.  Having heard that it was David's building that suffered roof damage, we travelled to Halifax together to see what had happened.  I was fearful that we could have lost both his business and my art show pieces.  Fortunately, the damage only proved severe to the studio location and the office was spared.  Of course the elevator and the entire building was in near darkness and wet.  The stairs were the only access point.

Having talked to other business owners in the same building who were standing in their ruined offices in ankle deep water sounding very upset, and having walked into David's studio to see a large, black lake of water in the middle of his studio floor, I felt fortunate for my art work was spared.  As I carried my heavy ceramic artwork down to the street on the dark, wet staircase to place it safely in my vehicle, this was the mantra that kept me going, "I am so grateful that I have strong enough legs to carry my heavy artwork down three flights of stairs."  I saw how to be grateful in the midst of that difficulty.  David was fortunate too, it turned out, for he relocated to a much improved location and my art show opened on time and was a success.  

Can you see the good even in bad situations?  How do you get through the bad times?

Day 96 November 8, 2010

Thanks to an article in the Saturday Globe and Mail on Oct. 30th, I found a great quote about why writers write.  Samuel Johnson, the lexicographer who wrote the most comprehensive English language dictionary ever compiled at the time, in 1755, is quoted as saying that the purpose of writing was to enable readers, " better to enjoy life, or better to endure it."  

Yes, somedays we just manage to endure life.  Just to endure is enough of a challenge for some of us.  Life can be hard.  Actually, count on it being hard.  But hopefully somedays we find enjoyment in our time on the planet also.  

Finding equanimity, finding balance, is what really helps us manage this experience called life.  Remember to take good care of yourself today, well hopefully not just today, but you know what I mean.

Today is the fourth consecutive day of rain and gray skies in my part of the world.  What is your part of the world like recently?  Many people find that day after day of rain dampens not only their persons but their spirits.  These are the days we need to really see what is right about our world.   See how lucky we are.  See that we are taking extremely good care of ourselves and those we love.  Stretch ourselves.  Go beyond our normal reach. Take good care of a complete stranger!  Even a smile, eye contact, or a thank you, can lift the spirits of a complete stranger and make each of you reassess how you relate to people in general.

Day 95 November 7, 2010

Where would an old lane like this one pictured in Ireland take you?  To stories told by genuine people I'm sure.  When I visited Ireland a few years ago even though I was easily earmarked by the locals as a newcomer I still met genuine people everywhere I went.  

On the first morning my brother and sister and I stopped for a break at a great coffee shop and we met a local couple.  We told them our story, about how we were there because our mother had always wanted to go to Ireland but had never made it, so we were going for her.  We told them how our family had left Ireland in 1850 due to the potato famine and arrived in New York city.  We were hoping to maybe one day find some of our relatives from Ireland.  

The woman reassured us by saying, "Augh… don't you worry now, by our standards talking about the year 1850 is just like talking about last weekend."  She was so kind to make us feel so at home there, even though our family hadn't been back since 1850.  I looked in the phone book in Dublin and found pages and pages of Halpins, our great great grandfather's name.

We had many similar moments of feeling like we were really home during our three weeks there.  We heard an elderly man at a local ceilidh sing a very sad song acapella, about his true love that he'd had to leave at the chapel gates for, "he'd gone to Amerikay."  That brought tears to my eyes, as I realized he was singing about a person from a family like mine, one who'd had to move away, emigrate, for whatever reason.  For many of the Irish it was to leave the potato famine, for others who emigrate it is to leave persecution or war behind them. 

I learned something on that trip, a deep connection to many of the deepest feelings I gleaned from my childhood.  The countless dinners with potatoes, the countless St. Paddy Day celebrations, the marvel of a visit from a family friend who still spoke Gaelic, the countless masses, the gleaming white double damask Irish linen table cloths only used at Thanksgiving and again at Christmas dinner, the family stories from Flatbush, Brooklyn.  What I really felt after that trip to Ireland was that I was born in the USA, I live in Canada, but my home is in Ireland.

Where do you call home?  I hope that when you think of your home, it brings you some good, heart warming memories.

Day 94 November 6, 2010

This is just such a great portrait of my friend Garry that I want to share it and I'm so grateful that Cathy sent it along to her friends.  Can you see how joyful Garry looks? Isn't it wonderful when we make ourselves happy by doing the work we love?  

I felt joyful today when fresh from the grocery store and yoga in the city I decided to take the doggies for a jaunt in the very wet field across from our house.  They loved it and so did I.  The clover was so vibrantly green and the water that overflowed the ditches so lusciously muddy.  The sodden gray sky only accentuated the bright colour of the clover, the bark of the birch trees, the intense red of my rain jacket and the black of the dogs.

The overflowing ditches are due to the terrific amount of rain we've had in the last two days. And pounding wind along with it that sounded like a drum beat as it hit my bedroom window.  Last night the only way I could get to sleep was by designing artwork in my mind.  That always quiets me down.  To let my creative mind soar.  Just exercising that part of my brain, that part of my self, speaks to me at such a deep level I just naturally relax and then drift off to sleep.  What helps you get to sleep on those nights when you cannot fall asleep easily?  Or are you one of the lucky ones who is asleep 17 seconds after your head hits the pillow?

Day 93 November 2010

Internet service is erratic here in my neighborhood this afternoon.  A fierce windstorm with rain has us in its grip.  The good news is, it is very warm again, 16 degrees celsius.  Two of my lawn chairs flew across the yard earlier today.  

Despite the weather, the doggies and I enjoyed harvesting some more carrots in between rain showers.  I kept the big carrots, they got to eat the second quality ones and the tiny ones.  We were all happy.  

I am also happy to report that I got to a new place in my yoga practice today.  I'm working on releasing my left shoulder blade so that it will move down my back with freedom.  Its usual position involves chronic tension due to an old dislocation.  Changing that tense way my body thinks is 'normal' for that shoulder blade involves a lot of patience.

At one point I was talking to that shoulder blade internally like this, "release, release, release, see how the other shoulder blade is?  why don't you try that position, eh?  come on, just try it.  release, release, release…"  Of course I'm doing my best to actually move the shoulder blade as I said this internally.  Lo and behold, the shoulder blade moved quite a bit, but just for a few seconds, which surprised me so much I gasped and lost my breath.  I was in headstand at the time and quickly came down.  Headstand is a great place to work on shoulders.  

Yes, newness, breaking free from our time worn patterns, can take your breath away.  It's shocking, but in a good way.  Try something new today.  See where it takes you.  Be fearless with yourself.

Day 92 November 2010

thorn plate detail

thorn plate

It's interesting to examine the path you've chosen in your life.  One day you might compare your choice of path to a friend's choice of path.  That can surprise you.  You look at your friend and see their credentials.  You see them for the person they are today and what they want to do in the future.  What really interests them.

Then you can examine your own credentials, the person you are today and what you want to do in the future.  What really interests you.  

What affects our choice of paths?  Our family commitments, our parental expectations, our personal expectations, our wants, our desires, our obligations, our life experiences, our strengths, our weaknesses, our place of birth, our lineage, our intent to help others?  It's obvious.  Lots of things affect the choice of which path we chose in our life.  

Day 91 November 3, 2010

This afternoon the sun blazed away and took the chill off the air.  I was gardening at just this time.  I luxuriated in the bright light, in the thick green grass and in the red blueberry bush leaves that contrasted sharply with the lush clover that encircled them.  

At one point I actually felt that it was spring, not fall.  The warmth and the light tricked me.  This was a good thing for it meant I was relaxed.  Lost in the airy mounds of hay, the various shades of green surrounding me in the fresh, crisp air, it was a fine hour or two.  That's right, I had no concept of actual clock time.

Observe how this happens to you when you are totally engrossed in the delight of your task at hand.  That is a definite clue that you are doing something you love.  Contrast that to the itchy, restless feeling you get when you are totally bored or distracted by a different task at hand.

Why is this kind of awareness useful?  It can help you chose a career you love, for one thing.  It can help you understand yourself and others, for another thing.  Self awareness, that's pretty helpful indeed.

Day 90 November 2, 2010

Well thank goodness my dear friend Denise called me today.  She wanted to make sure I realized that we are at the one quarter mark of this year long project.  A year long project can feel just like that somedays, … long.  

There is nothing like talking to a friend to help you get back on track, get back to feeling great about yourself.  Friends are like gardens, they need cultivating.  You need to support your plants with regular weeding, watering, and cultivating.  The same is true for friends.  Friends are really created, just like gardens.  You need to help friendships along.  Support each other. Laugh together.  Do what you love to do, with each other.  Understand each other.

Then as years go by, you learn that no matter how much time passes, when you are with your friend it feels like you just saw them a day ago, even if it's been 6 months really.  Your friendship never falters, you always pick up right where you left off.

The best thing about friends is that you can tell them anything in your heart.  And they'll listen and help you.  That's one of the best things about friends.  You can really be yourself with them.  

Call a friend, or write to them, or visit them.  You'll see what I mean.  Go ahead, cultivate your garden.

Day 89 November 1, 2010

Gray day today

Dampness stays out with constant movement

Gloved hands push the garlic cloves into the soft piles of dirt

A blanket of loosely piled hay goes next 

A blanket to protect against six months of cold

cold days, cold nights, cold in between everything

I cook potatoes, red onions and a lot of garlic for breakfast

Inspired by my brother's version of the same

A few strips of turkey bacon, some crumbled mushrooms, 

a sole egg the way our father loved them, over easy.

We need comfort food on cold days such as this

Over easy, that's a good take on things, over easy.